Why I Said I Don’t Care About the Notre Dame Fire, Who (Understandably) Criticized Me, and Who (Surprisingly) Was Supportive

by Akim Reinhardt First things first. Am I happy that Notre Dame Cathedral burned? Don’t be silly. Of course not. Do I wish it hadn’t burned? Absolutely. If I could wave a wand and undo the fire, would I? Without hesitation. This isn’t about my intellectual understanding of the building’s historical or architectural significance, it’s…

Why You Shouldn’t Curse

by Akim Reinhardt You shouldn’t curse. People will take you less seriously. Cursing also reveals a certain laziness on your part, suggesting that you can’t be bothered to come up with more descriptive language. In the end, when you curse, you short change both yourself and your audience. Instead, take the time to use the…

Improper Nouns

by Akim Reinhardt I’ve met Montanas, Dakotas, and Asias Brooklyns, Chinas, and Indias Roses and Irises, Lilys and Daisys Porsches and Lexuses and Mercedes, Persons turned to Places and Things I’ve met Mayas, Gypsys, and Cheyennes People who were people they’ve never been I’ve met Aprils, Mays, and Junes People defined and consigned to sunny…

Why You’re Wrong

by Akim Reinhardt Your numbers are off I said your numbers are off You forgot your watch You forgot your glasses You misread You misunderstood You’re missing the point You’re naive You’re irrational You’re close minded You’re vain You’re shallow You’re overly emotional It’s wishful thinking You’re too optimistic You’re too pessemistic You’re full of…

The Country Mouse and the City Mouse: A Brief History of American Identity, 1790-Present

by Akim Reinhardt In 1790, shortly after the 13 states ratified the U.S. Constitution, the new federal government conducted its first population census. Its tabulations revealed an astonishingly rural nation. No less than 95% of all Americans lived in rural areas, either on a fairly isolated homestead (typically a farm) or in a very small…

Two Ridiculous Poems

by Akim Reinhardt “In Memory of Franz Klammer” Franz Klammer soared down alpine mounts, His glory assured by the clock’s count The lord of Austria, the king of the hill, the master of the Alps, the bringer of thrills His grace, his speed, defied laws of nature His beautiful name redefined nomenclature Franz Klammer! Franz…

Understanding America’s Hyper Partisanship

by Akim Reinhardt Spectator sports can reflect a society’s worst inclinations by promoting pure partisanship. Pure partisanship is profoundly anti-intellectual. Pure partisanship can disable a person’s moral compass. Anyone who follows sports, even tangentially, witnesses this frequently. This team’s victory or that team’s loss have led to countless riots. Here in Baltimore a few years…

A Straight Line

by Akim Reinhardt “It’s a long, long way from the Trump administration to an actual fascist dictatorship,” I said, “but it’s a straight line.” Although generally reserved, Julius (I’ll call him) belly laughed a good while at that, his outburst fueled by personal experience. He’d spent his childhood in General Francisco Franco’s fascist Spain. Specifically…

Two Great Assets

by Akim Reinhardt "….Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart." -Donald Trump via Twitter (January 6, 2018) Oh, that was good. But here's the thing. What exactly are his two greatest assets? Or yours? Or mine? Trump's tweet is funny/horrifying not only because it's the…

Monday Hot Takes!

by Akim "Hot Cha Cha" Reinhardt *Omg, so excited about Prince Harry announcing he's getting hitched to the absolutely fabulous Meghan Markle. Way to go, royal family! *The Trump presidency continues shifting Foucualtian microtechnologies power, including the reinforcement select biopower apparatuses around immigration and race but, despite this, has thoroughly betrayed earlier promises to disrupt…