Why You’re Wrong

by Akim Reinhardt Your numbers are off I said your numbers are off You forgot your watch You forgot your glasses You misread You misunderstood You’re missing the point You’re naive You’re irrational You’re close minded You’re vain You’re shallow You’re overly emotional It’s wishful thinking You’re too optimistic You’re too pessemistic You’re full of…

The Country Mouse and the City Mouse: A Brief History of American Identity, 1790-Present

by Akim Reinhardt In 1790, shortly after the 13 states ratified the U.S. Constitution, the new federal government conducted its first population census. Its tabulations revealed an astonishingly rural nation. No less than 95% of all Americans lived in rural areas, either on a fairly isolated homestead (typically a farm) or in a very small…

Two Ridiculous Poems

by Akim Reinhardt “In Memory of Franz Klammer” Franz Klammer soared down alpine mounts, His glory assured by the clock’s count The lord of Austria, the king of the hill, the master of the Alps, the bringer of thrills His grace, his speed, defied laws of nature His beautiful name redefined nomenclature Franz Klammer! Franz…

Understanding America’s Hyper Partisanship

by Akim Reinhardt Spectator sports can reflect a society’s worst inclinations by promoting pure partisanship. Pure partisanship is profoundly anti-intellectual. Pure partisanship can disable a person’s moral compass. Anyone who follows sports, even tangentially, witnesses this frequently. This team’s victory or that team’s loss have led to countless riots. Here in Baltimore a few years…

A Straight Line

by Akim Reinhardt “It’s a long, long way from the Trump administration to an actual fascist dictatorship,” I said, “but it’s a straight line.” Although generally reserved, Julius (I’ll call him) belly laughed a good while at that, his outburst fueled by personal experience. He’d spent his childhood in General Francisco Franco’s fascist Spain. Specifically…

Yes, I’m Defending the Millennials, Goddammit

by Akim Reinhardt Generational analysis, when done poorly, is half-a-notch above astrology: All the people born at this time are like this! Of course there's plenty of good generational research and analysis by demographers and other social scientists. However, most people don't delve into that stuff. Most people simply absorb generational analysis from popular culture.…

Heather Heyer & Charlottesville: White America’s Thirst for White Martyrs of Racial Violence

by Akim Reinhardt It began with Emmett Till. He was a fourteen year old black boy from Chicago visiting relatives in Mississippi in 1954 when two white men lynched him to death for whistling at a white woman. That in itself, sadly, wasn’t so unusual. Thousands of African Americans were lynched to death during the…

One Time

by Megan Golden and Akim Reinhardt One time he showed up at the lake, having driven two hours straight from the city, climbed up to a massive rock wearing only his green speedo, took a last sip of vodka, and executed a perfect swan dive from thirty feet. One time he sewed the head back…

Singing the Praises of James Bond

by Akim Reinhardt Roger Moore died last week at the age of 89. He is the first important Bond to pass (sorry David Niven!), so predictably heated arguments ensued: Where does Moore rank in the canon of Bond actors? It was a boring debate. Moore was the worst, plain and simple. He helped drive the…

This Populist Moment

by Akim Reinhardt Last week, Barack Obama got beaten up on social media and called out by the press for accepting a $400,000 speaking fee from a Wall Street investment firm. It was the day's major kerfuffle, the non-Trump story of the week, and reactions to it by many of my smart, well reasoned friends…

American Regicide

by Akim Reinhardt Donald Trump is going down. His house of cards will collapse at some point. The leaks will keep flowing and eventually his position will become untenable. Conflicts of interest. Connections to Russia. All of it will become too great a weight to carry, especially since The Donald has very few genuine allies…

A Call to Arms

by Akim Reinhardt I have a friend of Indian descent who was born in Africa, but raised almost entirely in London. Or, I should say, I had such a friend. About a year ago, maybe more, we got into an online argument about the Pope, and that was that. Much to my surprise, he de-friended…

Why I’m Not Writing this Essay

by Akim Reinhardt I've been writing 3QD Monday columns for over six years now. Never missed a deadline. Not a one of ‘em. Every fourth Monday: Bang! 2,000 words. More like 2,500. I enjoy it. I look forward to it. Each December, when the city of Baltimore mails every resident a Baltimore City Department of…

The Counter Revolution

by Akim Reinhardt The United States boasts a deeply conservative economic tradition. From its origins as a colonial, agricultural society, it quickly emerged as a slave holding republic built on the ethnic cleansing and occasional genocide of Indigenous peoples. After the Civil War (1861-65), it reshaped itself in the crucible of unfettered laissez-faire capitalism straight…