SILLY THINGS MY 3-YEAR-OLD SAID THAT I’M CERTAIN THE REST OF THE WORLD WOULD FIND SWEET AND CUTE.

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When I Showed Him Pictures of Europe

ME: Do you know why people like to travel?

HIM: I’m silly travel! Silly travel!

ME: You’re what?

HIM: I was in the sky then. Watching you in England and France. And the Paris light that fell on a tired literary landmark and made you melancholy is the same light that is fueling me. You stood in gardens where your grandfather stood before hitting that fucking beach at Normandy. But what have you done, really? I can turn you inside out with one phrase: What have you done since 2003? Do you feel the sting of it? The reckoning is coming.

ME: Do you like SpongeBob? Is SpongyBobby silly?

HIM: (Silence.)

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