January 04, 2009
the elements of spam
14. Use the active voice.
Notice how aloof the passive voice is.
Your balls are to be slurped the most by cum-starved nymphos!!!!!
Hardly persuasive. The five exclamation points feel tacked on, an attempt by an inexperienced writer to breathe life into a desiccated construction. The active voice, however, allows you to write with verve and straightforwardness.
Cum-starved nymphos will slurp your balls the most!!!!!
16. Use definite, specific, concrete language.
Generalities enervate your writing; strong details invigorate it.
In short order, you'll notice enhanced length and girth.
What is meant by "short order"? A week? A month? The imprecision is suspicious. Further, avoid bankrupt modifiers such as enhanced. Rewrite with exactness.
more from McSweeney's here.
Posted by Morgan Meis at 09:06 AM | Permalink
Comments
Blog writing is a different art from ground writing. More often than not, blog posts are written as if it was published in a magazine - huge mistake. People online do not want to negotiate that much text, and they want straightforward (non passive) communication. Of course you can be humorous and creative, but not at the expense of the most efficient communication.
Posted by: MIchelle McCormack | Jan 4, 2009 10:22:09 AM
Hilarious. But proper grammar would make it stronger: "*You're* exactly one week away..."
Posted by: Showman | Jan 4, 2009 7:22:33 PM
Michelle, I beg to differ. Online reading habits -- scanning, skipping around, and so forth -- do not demand a special prose style. A reader scanning is more efficient than a writer crafting lunchmeat. There is such a thing as failing, as a writer, to take advantage of your medium, and "writing to word" is of course very good discipline. But basing your bid for a reader's attention on how little of their online time you propose to take up is not the same as creating value with what you write. If you attend to the latter, you may get read. If you attend to the former, you may get read. I'd rather look to the quality of the experience I was creating for readers, and let them deal with time management their own way. Which they will do, anyhow.
Posted by: Elatia Harris | Jan 4, 2009 9:02:05 PM
Couldn't agree more, Elatia.
Thanks.
Posted by: Abbas Raza | Jan 5, 2009 3:50:53 AM
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