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September 24, 2008

Urgent Request From Republic Of America For Business Relationship (Confidential!)

Kevin Allman posts over at blogofneworleans.com:

Dear American, My Dear Friend:

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America.

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with “Mr. Phil Gram,” lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a citizen, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transaction is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check.

We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction.

After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Do not discuss this message with anyone! Time is of the essence!

Yours Faithfully.

Minister of Treasury Hank Paulson

Posted by Robin Varghese at 02:33 PM | Permalink

Comments

Is it appropriate to LOL at 3quarksdaily?

Posted by: taxpayer | Sep 24, 2008 2:41:59 PM

LOLaway taxpayer LOL all the way to the bank. I'm filing this one with my collection emails from African tribal princesses. Thanks Robin, this posting is going into heavy circulation.

Posted by: PeteChapman | Sep 24, 2008 2:56:09 PM

The nasty bit of work is that the whole world is paying those 800 billion. It is being financed by US obligations in dollars, those loans are still being taken on by most of the world. They result in a devaluation of the dollar, those same loans. We let the US get away with it because it's better than the alternatives; a tanking global market. For now. If the US treasury keeps writing out blank checks, it may become really hard for Chine to keep buying obligations, certainly so long as the interest is this low. Rising interest tanks the housing market, low interest tanks the dollar.

Choices, choices... I'd say they're in a nice pickle.

Posted by: oddman | Sep 24, 2008 4:58:01 PM

Ha! Excellent.

Posted by: Ms Baroque | Sep 24, 2008 6:36:38 PM

Inspired. Brilliant. Hats off the author. I only wish that Paulson himself could see it.

Posted by: Morris Newman | Sep 25, 2008 12:44:18 AM

Inspired. Brilliant. Hats off the author. I only wish that Paulson himself could see it.

Posted by: Morris Newman | Sep 25, 2008 12:46:20 AM

Hi Robin,
This has to be the funniest thing to appear on 3qd in a long time. I cannot stop laughing. Thanks!
Aps.

Posted by: Azra Raza | Sep 25, 2008 7:20:16 AM

Damn. I sure wish this was funny. Log onto Forbes for a story that quotes an admin official who says the $700B number was made up.

Posted by: mr.ed | Sep 25, 2008 8:35:24 AM

Look for this in either the Economist or Financial Times next week!

Posted by: missvolare | Sep 25, 2008 6:39:54 PM

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