August 17, 2008
selections from h.p. lovecraft's brief tenure as a whitman's sampler copywriter
White Chocolate Truffle What black arts could have stripped this chocolate of its natural hue? The horror of the unearthly, corpselike pallor of this truffle's complexion is only offset by its fiendish deliciousness.
Nut Cluster Crunch
This eerie candy will test the sanity of all but those who possess the strongest of constitutions. Strange congeries of almonds, walnuts, and pistachios dance hypnotically within, promising to reveal their eldritch secrets to anyone foolish enough to take a bite of these ancient nut clusters!Coconut Creme Swirl
They say that the Coconut Creme Swirl sleeps. But if the dread Coconut Creme Swirl slumbers, surely it must also dream. It is certain that while it dozes the Coconut Creme Swirl is absorbed by terrifying visions of exacting its creamy tropical vengeance upon mankind! Consume the Coconut Creme Swirl before it awakens to consume you!
more from McSweeney's here.
Posted by Morgan Meis at 02:26 PM | Permalink
Comments
And let's not forget the huge contribution to this melange of anandamide, "the bliss molecule".
Posted by: Felix E F Larocca MD | Aug 17, 2008 3:09:54 PM
They used "eldritch" far too soon in the piece...they should have used later and made us work for it. The last description should have been the first; it reads like an H.P. opening and the last description should have been a cheezy but memorable punchline. Thanks Morgan.
Posted by: Pete Chapman | Aug 18, 2008 11:15:39 AM
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